Yeah, I'm sitting on the edge of my unmade bed, listening to my dogs snore while I dork away on the internet. I was just on facebook and got sucked into friending all my old high school acquaintances; the missed, long-lost friends as well as the "omigod we had english together junior year" ones.
The other day when I was working a shift at Lola Coffee, a girl that I remembered from high school came in for coffee. She didn't recognize me but I said hi anyway, and it became clear after a few sentences that she couldn't remember who I was but continued our conversation kindly and politely. It felt totally lame to be serving a peer coffee while she was very obviously on some kind of business break. I was annoyed at myself for speaking up. I should have just served her the coffee and left it at that.
As I'm searching and finding these friends of mine on facebook, I feel similar to that day at Lola: You know, that vague sense of inadequacy and discomfort, wondering if you're cool enough to communicate with people you once knew who appear to have a more interesting life than you do? Won't there be a time, finally, when I will have gotten past that kind of sheepish, adolescent behavior? I mean, Jesus, I'm not ashamed of myself! I think I'm an interesting person... Not super sure, but pretty sure.
And by God I hope they don't ever catch me blogging about it! What a dork. Sheesh, I was a dork then, and I'm a super-dork now. Why do I still put myself through this?
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