Here I sit at Lola Coffee with my netbook and iced americano (the default beverage of all Lola staff members) enjoying a husband, baby, and dog-free moment to myself. It's been a while, and I think I deserve it. I could rant about being an underappreciated mom, but in reality my husband is a great father and never minds watching Ilse; I've just never thought to ask for this favor.

Coincidentally, as I sit in this mid-century vintage white chair, I am also sitting at a cross roads in my life, if you will allow the badly-thought-out symbolism. I've been waiting (and hoping) for this opportunity for years, and now that it's in front of me, I'm having serious second thoughts. I envisioned the choice being so clear and automatic, and even though I'm more prepared than ever, I still have misgivings.

Should I go for it or remain in my easy, stress-free life? Can I rise to the challenge?

When making choices of this magnitude, I sometimes recklessly feel that simply DOING it is the best. I'm young, right? And capable? All I have to do is give it my all and I'll be fine. But I've been burned before, big time. On the other hand, I've been playing it safe for the last five years, and I'm getting restless. Is this the one opportunity I've been looking for?

My squirming gut tells me that it's time to go for it, but thankfully my memory and my mind are urging me to carefully consider each option. Hopefully the choice revealed in my subsequent post will be the first exciting steps in the chronicle of my new life!