Baby Girl

As I walked around our tiny condo for the tenth time, trying to get my exhausted daughter to sleep, I became more and more irritated. This kid was running on fumes, completely worn out, rubbing her bleary, puffy little eyes. Not only that, but it was 5 pm. She goes to bed at 8 pm, just three hours after that. Sweet. I love staying up all night with babies. But I could not deal with her awake and cranky, either.

So I angrily plopped down in the rocking chair in her darkened, cool room. I began lamenting how terrible it was that I didn't have Ilse on a schedule, and that she couldn't even soothe herself to sleep yet. I looked down and noticed that finally one of her eyes was closed, the other just barely open, her little eye ball looking around the room and at me, making sure I didn't go anywhere. My gaze moved down a little to her tiny nose, petite and delicate, with baby-sized nostrils. There was also a baby-sized booger in one, moving in and out with her breathing. I chuckled, and removed it. She brought her chubby arm up to rub my hand out of the way, and drowsily went back to her one-eyed vigil.

I realized that I was hunched over her, my face only inches away from hers, so I sat back and relaxed in the chair, looking her over from top to bottom. Brown soft spikes of hair, button nose, rosy round cheeks, tiny bow-shaped mouth, double chin, soft fat arms crossed delicately one on top of the other, round milk belly, enormous dimply thighs, and play-dough feet with tiny sausage toes. I almost laughed out loud, this kid was so damn cute.

Kissing her forehead gently, I realized that these were the last times she and I would be able to do this. Even a year from now, she will not need me to enfold her in my arms and help her fall asleep. Sure, she'll need me to hug and comfort her, and maybe occasionally she'll sneak into bed with David and I for a little snuggly time, but never again like this.

After I placed her oh so carefully in her crib, taking care to cover her as softly as possible with her Pooh blanket and backing slowly and quietly out of her room, I happened to glance at the clock. An hour and a half had passed by that I looked her over and over and she slept peacefully in my arms,

The sweetest of moments spent with my baby.